From This Side of the Couch…
A collection of writings from a therapist / mom / veteran / human
Performing “The Work” vs. Actually Changing: When Intentions Don’t Translate at Home
Many partners say they’re “working on themselves,” but nothing changes at home. Learn how intention, dependency, and follow-through impact relationships.
“But You Did It Too” Is Where Conversations Go to Die
When someone responds to “you hurt me” with “yeah but you hurt me too,” it sounds fair - but it’s actually deflection. Here’s why that pattern keeps relationships stuck.
“I’m Working on Myself”: What That Actually Means in Dating
“I’m working on myself” sounds like a green flag - but it can mean very different things depending on where someone actually is in the process. Here’s what to look for, and why so many people end up investing in potential instead of reality.
It’s Not About the Dishes: How Small Moments Erode Relationships Over Time
It’s rarely about what happened. It’s about what it starts to mean- and what those meanings quietly build over time.
The Work of Understanding Our Past Selves
Growth doesn’t erase who we used to be. Sometimes the real work is learning to understand our past selves with curiosity instead of shame.
Rethinking Relationships: Monogamy, Polyamory, and the Stories We Tell About Love
Modern culture often assumes there’s one “correct” way to do relationships. This article explores monogamy, polyamory, and the cultural stories that shape how we think about love.